Meaningful lesson of Trust and Faith

My eyes are swollen, heart heavy....Head packed...

Last nite had a conversation with someone (Miss K) really close...We were talking about budgeting and so on....how to start saving up....and thrift on food...and many others.

As she shared her past experience..during her school days...how hard time she has and how God taught her the lesson of trusting in the mist of even having to decide if she is going to use the only money she has on her text book or her one month transportation.

While struggling with that...she heard God's voice asking why didn't she trust God enough to provide her. If she trust God enough she would have used this amount of money first on the transportation to reach her school for the entire month and let God provide her with the text book she needs..

So she prayed telling her that she will do what He says, to trust in Him for His providence...amazingly as she did..God let her found the old textbook of her elder brother's which is a few editions before..and to her its like manna from heaven (bread which drops from the heaven). She praise and thanks God.
And she went to the library each day with that old textbook each day to make comparison before her class, pg by pg she gone thru it and filling in the difference (updating) her version in that book. Tho no one in the Uni need to go to that extend.
My heartache for what she been thru as she never shared this with me before.
Next she need another textbook..which without telling anyone..a friend of her came asking her if she needs that textbook as she has just finished that book the last semester. God is so amazing and wonderful. He provides us when we learn to trust in God. And becuz of all this hardship she went thru..she has now become a tough and faithful person.

She shared with me this so as to encourage me that if she can do it..I can too...
I shared about my sadness and question to God about my work..
Why? I was asking God after I left my work....
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Why is it that after all these hardwork I put into the company (bookstore)..My superiors still talk to me in the way hinting me that I have not done enough work...
My sup told me that I should ask my boss about the cd design which I used to do for the previous company...to take back those designs to do..from my boss as my boss is doing it himself... I didn't ask becuz I know my boss well...since he is the boss he do what he likes...

Then she told me...Boss told her that my pay includes the designing of cds....
and say if I dun practice my design my design skill will go rusty...
I felt as unjustice...
I told her...Haven't I been fetching design jobs to do for the company? And then she kept quiet.

The way she says is as if I am not doing enough work...I am idling taking pay for nothing... I felt so sad and so unfair for her to say that. In fact, the part which brings in the most revenue is by me... I made the most sales and did those designs which is many times the profit she earns for the company. What gives her this right to say that? But I did not tell her..as she is my sup and I dun want to ruin the relationship btw us.

People tends to enlarge other's fault than themselves. Like the case of LATE. She told my boss that I was late she can't stand it and managed me.
In the actual fact she is always late too...what gives her the right to say that.
But becuz she said that..I make it a point not to be late again...
Still she was later than me...but wrote in the book that she is punctual.
I guess I will leave that to God.

When people is happily taking their 13rd month bonus..me working so hard not even a breathing time or a time to take some water..will have to wait and see if anyone offer money to our company stating its for our bonus.. cuz that's the practice of the company. Tho things could have been done otherwise like other company..but since my sup is also the accountants insist this way...I felt so dishearten ..I can only commit to God this matter and learn to trust God for His providence. I guess this is the lesson of faith.
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Back to where I left off...
After hearing me sharing about the above...
she (Miss K) ask me why am I trying to please people and try not to make people angry or upset. Its their matter not yours. Why carry on yourself?
We must know..we are not God. Where do God comes in when you try to do everything? Its impossible to please everyone and to satisfy everyone. If you have done your best and that person still feels unhappy about it..tell it to God. Leave the rest to God and pray for that person.

You are not NOT DOING anything for that person. You are doing something more valuable and important for that person.
Which is better? For you to provide that person or for the King to provide?
If we feel that its out of our ability or no longer in our ability to give what makes the person satisfy and comforted ..why not just admit it and pass it to someone more capable..which is the King..God himself.
You have done your part..That's enough. And be comforted..

Yes, she is right..many times I tried to be everyone's angel which obviously I can't. And when I can't I start blaming myself why I can't...I forgot the part that I am human, NOT GOD.

From now on, I will keep reminding myself..its alright..if this is already my best..if people are still not satisfy...I will just pray for them and ask God to help them. Cuz its no longer within my ability. I did my part and my BEST!

Thank You Father in Heaven for this precious sharing...
Thank You Lord.